We need kink at pride because “kink” isn’t just kink. “Kink” is:
That boy wearing jeans that are too tight
Your neighbors and their “friend” that lives with them
Having a beard and wearing a skirt
Wearing any kind of choker
Literally anything else they decide goes against the “norm”, and it can be literally anything. That is why we need kink at pride.
No we don’t. Respect ppls boundaries. If respect isn’t normal anymore what will be normal then? Anything, no matter how it impacts or scars other peoples lives? Kink doesn’t belongs to pride.
Look around you. Do you see where “No Kink At Pride” has led? Being transgender is illegal now. Exactly what people said would happen. You know what’s going to be next? Being gay is going to be illegal. Because being gay is not “respecting straight people’s boundaries”. They don’t want to see you. They want to kill you.
Kicking out the freaks won’t save you. Kicking out the kinksters and the crossdressers and the swingers and the Leather Daddies and the Dykes on Bikes won’t save you.
Nothing will save you. Because the people you are trying to appease by licking boot and shunning and harassing any queer you deem “too weird” fucking want you dead too, no matter how palatable you make yourself. You can sanitize yourself until the fucking cows come home. You will NEVER be clean enough for the bigots who think that simply daring to exist as a queer person is a disgusting affront.
And if you are WILLING to throw the freaks under the bus to save yourself? To pretend that you’re “normal”?
Don’t come crying to us when the very people you’re trying to pander to turn around and start calling for YOU to be jailed, YOU to be erased. For YOU to be made illegal for existing. For YOU to be made illegal for those oh-so-sanitized gay activities like having a same-gender partner and holding hands.
If you think that “kink doesn’t belong at pride”, then not only do you not know your damn history, but you’re a traitor in my eyes. Because that attitude is exactly what leads to what we’re seeing now.
BEING GAY IS A DISGUSTING KINK TO THIS BIGOTS. They see your calls to get rid of kink and use it to GET RID OF US ALL.
Once you stop thinking about queer people’s labels as strict indications of what’s in their pants and who they do/don’t bed and instead view queer people’s labels as how they interact with the world, you’ll find that you’ll get along with queer people better and treat them better, I think.
so embarrassing when i forget im checking someone’s blog and i start scrolling through and liking and reblogging shit as if it’s just my dash. it feels like wandering into someone else’s apartment and not noticing and making myself lunch
reblog if i can wander into your apartment (blog) and make myself lunch (like and reblog as if it’s my dash)
I just felt these tags were too important not to add @blacksasuke
Raise your hand if you’ve ever heard “Black people don’t need sunscreen because they don’t burn.”
Raise your other hand if you were today years old when you found out that not only is that not true, but Black people are more likely than white people to die of skin cancer, because they’re told they don’t need to take precautions, sunburn doesn’t visually appear as quickly on Black skin even as the damage is being done, and then doctors aren’t taught what skin cancer looks like on Black people so by the time they catch it, it’s too fucking late.
I’ve been singing that song for a while tbh. It’s amazing how many times I’ve brought up sunscreen or skin screenings with a dermatologist, and women I know don’t realize they also could develop sun cancer.
If you’re reading this and you’re black, please I am begging you look up what melanoma and the other skin cancers look like on darker skin. It’s on the internet, it’s a quick google search, please do it now while it’s in your mind.
And once you’ve done that give yourself a full body check-over. Remember to include around your eyes, the back of your neck, and the part in your hair. Also! Please make an appointment with a dermatologist in your area (check reviews online to find one who is comfortable checking you) and go see them.
Skin cancer is very treatable if it’s caught early. However it can be very serious and often deadly if it isn’t. Take! This! Seriously! If you’re black you still have skin, and you can still get skin cancer! You really do owe it to yourself to know what to look for, and to check yourself on a monthly basis. It could genuinely be the difference between life and death.
I have thoughts about the whole feminist anti-interrupting thing. Like I agree, men do talk over people and it is disrespectful, but I also think there are cultures, specifically Jews, where talking over each other is actually a sign of being engaged in the conversation. It’s something I really struggle with in the south, because up in New York, even non-Jews participated in this cooperative conversation style, but down here, whenever I do it by accident, the whole convo stops and it gets called out and it’s a whole thing. Idk idk I feel like there’s different types of interruptive like there’s constructive interrupting where you add on to whatever is being said - helpful interrupting, and then there’s like interrupting where you just start saying something unrelated because you were done listening. I have ADHD so I’ve def done the latter too by accident, but I’m talking about being more accepting of the former.
I think a lot of the social mores leftists enforce around communication tend to be very white. Like Jews are not the only group of people that have distinct communication styles. Like the enforcement of turn-based communication, not raising your voice (not just in anger but also in humor or excitement), etc. it’s always interesting that the most pushback I get about how I communicate come from white people (mostly women actually, white men just give me patronizing looks because they don’t feel like they can call me out in same way). Like I’ve been teaching these workshops, and a few of them have been primarily black people, and I’ve noticed black people will also engage in cooperative interrupting (and I love it!). This isn’t a developed thought and I welcome feedback. Idk I think there should be space in leftist organizing for more diverse communication styles.
As a linguist: overlapping talk is not the same thing as an interruption!
An interruption is specifically intended to stop another person from speaking so you can take over. Other reasons that talk might overlap:
close latching – how much time should I give between when you stop talking and when I start? Very close latching can feature a lot of overlaps.
participatory listening – how do I signal to you that I’m engaged with what you’re saying and paying attention? Do I make any noise at all, or do I limit myself to minimal “backchannel” noises (mm-hmm, ah, yeah), or do I fully verbalize my reactions as you’re going? Maybe even chime in along with you, if I anticipate what you’re about to say, to show how well we’re vibing?
support request – this can shade into interruption as a form of sealioning, but if someone interjects a request like “I didn’t catch that” or “What’s that mean?” it’s not really an interruption, because they’re not trying to end/take my turn away, they’re inviting me to keep going with clarification/adaptation.
asides – if there’s more than two people involved in a conversation, a certain amount of cross-talk is probably inevitable.
The norms around these kinds of overlaps vary – by context (we all use more audible backchannel on the phone; an interview is not a sermon is not a casual chat), by culture, and yes, by gender, which is why it’s a feminist issue. But gender doesn’t exist in a vaccuum! Some reasons overlaps might be mis-interpreted as interruptions when they’re not intended to be:
norms about turn latching: someone who’s not used to close-latching conversation might feel interrupted or stepped on when talking to someone who is. The converse is that someone who’s expecting close-latching might feel the absence of it as awkward silence, withdrawal, coldness, etc.
norms about backchannel: if you’re not expecting me to provide running commentary on your story or finish your sentences (or if I’m doing it wrong) then you might feel interrupted. But if you’re expecting that level of feedback you might feel ignored.
neurodivergence: If I have auditory processing problems, I might take longer to respond to you than you’re expecting. If I have impulse control problems, I might blurt something out as soon as I think of it, but I don’t necessarily want you to stop. If I have trouble with nonverbal or paralinguistic cues, I might not latch my turns the way you expect, or my backchannel might be timed in a way you don’t expect.
Non-native speakers of a language may need more time to process speech; may speak more slowly and with pauses in different places than native speakers; may not pick up the same cues about turn-latching and backchannel, resulting in a timing difference; may need to make more requests for support.
Norms around conversation tend to be super white/Western/male/NT; even among linguists, the way we talk about analyzing talk usually presupposes discrete turns, with one person who “has the floor” and everyone else listening. It even gets coded into our technology – I thing the account’s gone private, but someone recently tweeted, “For the sake of my wife’s family, Zoom needs to incorporate an ‘ashkenazi jewish’ checkbox” because the platform is programmed to try to identify a “main speaker” and auto-mute everyone else. Most of the progress on this front in linguistics has been pushed by Black women and Jewish women, or else we’d probably still be acting like Robert’s Rules represent the natural expression of human instincts.
And it’s very White Feminism to recognize how conversations styles have disparate impacts across gender lines without also recognizing other axes along which conversation styles vary, once that empower us as well as oppress us. Just because I feel interrupted doesn’t mean I am interrupted, and it definitely doesn’t mean I have the right to scream “EVERYBODY SHUT UP!!” until I’m the only one talking.
I don’t … have a great way to end this? Just that it’s good to recognize competing needs in communication, and have some humility and intentionality about whose needs gets prioritized and how.
Another thing; as someone who expects overlap because of my cultural upbringing, when someone doesn’t overlap me I just start looping and repeating myself because I’m waiting for them to interrupt and they’re “politely” waiting for me to finish speaking.
Okay nobody ever put that into words but the looping is exactly what I do in therapy - I should tell my therapist about this so I don’t need to say the same thing over and over again lol
its “think of the children” and “let kids be kids” but they won’t even let a 9 year old pretend to be a cat without causing a moral panic. they won’t let little girls wear anything that might show their fucking shoulders in school and teach them that their bodies are inherently sexual and they should be ashamed of it. they won’t even let a five year old boy cry without making fun of him for it. nor will they condemn it if an adult woman pursues a teenage boy, so long as it’s straight. “protect children” my ass.
I know there’s been a lot of chatter about Twitter rebranding to X, but if you have any photosensitive triggers, DO NOT go to Musk’s user page to see what he’s up to. There is a gif of the new X logo front and center in his recent posts that glitches around with a LOT of flashing lights. It hurt MY eyes to look at, and I don’t have any issues with flashing.
NO NO NO TUMBLR I DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WANT TO SEE WHAT MY MUTUALS LIKED. I WANT TO SEE WHAT THEY’VE REBLOGGED. IF IT WAS WORTH SEEING THEY’LL PUT IT ON MY DASH 37 TIMES
